the secret about wot "Bendan" means

i figure it out just now that,why i called him "bendan"
it not means silly or stupid.
"bendan" means the meanning in my heart is a guy who dont know what i'd did for him most of times.
he dont know how much he mean to me.
he dont know how long i 'd waiting for him.
he dont know how it hurt when he'd gone.
he dont know what it mean i'd told him sth.
he dont know how much i did for him.
he dont know how much i miss him.
and also,
he dont know how much i love him.
becuz the love i given him is overtop he could imagine.

and i found that,only he want me do for him is just be understanding.and i done,at all times.

i wonder that if be understanding means to him that " leave out me,im ok"??does it?

hmmm,i dont know,but it close to the answer,hehe..

however,
i was ,am and will falling for the bendan,for ever...
becuz----he is my bendan..